Breaking the ice “The Underwear Rule”

The title, the title says it all!  This blog post is going to break the ice to the inside of my Mommy, Wife, Ex-Wife, Childcare Provider, Christian, Homemaker, Chaos World.   I’m not a facebooker, and I certainly know nothing about Twitter.  So I basically have a nice little private bubble of life going on that’s about to get POPPED by sharing our freakouts and funnies.

I am a stay at home mother and I enjoy every second of my job.  Not only do I get to enjoy Emily (my daughter age 3) and Noah(my son age 5) and all their life’s little moments, I also get to care for niece’s during the day.  There’s many funnies that will come about and there are many freakouts.  Regardless I wouldn’t trade my life for the world.   Eric (the husband) is my rock and foundation to everything beautiful in my life.  He is my support system and our parenting skills together are fantastic.image

Today I share with you our family’s “Underwear Rule” . Before I begin I want to share with you the website for your own info  Underwear rule . I am a survivor.    I am a victim of childhood sexual abuse by my grandfather.   My childhood memories have been tore down to only remembering “the don’t’s “.  I say “the dont’s” because everything then was about,”don’t ” go in his room, “don’t ” move and maybe he will stop, “don’t” tell, “don’t” cry, “don’t” ruin the family.   From ages  10-12yrs old I was a victim.  NYS arrested him and registered him as a sex offender for 7 years and he no longer was allowed to preach in the church.   Yup I said it “preach” in our church.  This man of God was hurting me.  God must want this for me I thought?  And he in turn told me God wanted this for me.   His words will always echo “in order to forgive me, God needs you to forgive me and I shall go to heaven.”   I never forgave.  My grandfather died 5 years ago.  May his soul rot in hell.

Now that I have your attention :-). No matter what age, no matter how young, your children are never to young to learn the Underwear Rule.   Now today my fears lay in the hands of my children’s future, how educated I make them regarding their bodies and right from wrong on sexual abuse.  Children need to know it’s ok to tell an adult no, they need to know the correct names of their private parts.  They need to know that no matter how small they can always tell their parents what’s wrong, or what’s making them uncomfortable.   Little ones you have a right to say “stop tickling me“! They need to be taught that not every adult is right, not every adult is good, and not every child is good.  Even if it is another child they need to be taught any touch that makes them uncomfortable is wrong.   The schools educate on gun safety, on lockdown drills, on heroin, what about sexual abuse?   My children will look right at a stranger in the grocery store and not say a word even if that stranger said “hello”.  That makes me proud.

Talk to your little ones, to young is not an answer to this.   Education is an ongoing task we have as parents.  Teach our children to protect themselves.  RAINN.

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